I suppose it would be a good idea to write one of these things? I feel mildly confident that I have indeed accomplished things and have a few useful skills, but I seem to have forgotten to list them. A grave omission for anyone with ambitions to remain gainfully employed, I expect.

Edit: Okay fine. Here is my scandalously short two-page academic résumé. Also, because academic résumés are boring stuffy lists of achievements and not particularly helpful in an industry context, here is a skills-focused résumé.